I've had more opportunity to ponder this question of late than ever before in my life. I don't think I ever realized I didn't actually know the answer until lately. So this one's up for people to answer. What is your definition of love in a dating relationship?
You may be wondering why I ask. Mostly I'm wondering what love is like in a long-term relationship, marriage particularly. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 7 months, and I'm kind of past the butterflies-in-my-stomach-when-I-see-him part. I'm pretty independent, so I enjoy when we're together, but I'm not heartbroken when we're apart. I can potentially see a great future together, but yet I'm currently stuck in a major career rut and it's hard to imagine it's going to change anytime soon. I feel very stuck in the situation I'm in currently, and it clouds the relationship a little bit. I guess I just want to know what makes a long term relationship work and what it feels like to really be in love. What I thought it was before seems more like infatuation to me now and where I'm at is new territory for me. Any comments from anyone?
|
This entry was posted on 2:07 PM and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
4 comments:
My parents have told me that when they look back at when they got married, they realized that NOW they love each other, but then they only thought they did. Maybe love is on a continuum and that's why its definition eludes us. Either way, I think of love as a motivating force in a relationship. It includes physical motivation to be near that person, emotional motivation to make them feel satisfied, emotional motivation to have your own needs met...all of these things come down to what makes the two of you want to stay together for a long time...eternity, hopefully!
Love is looking at the other person across the room and suddenly getting a swelling of overwhelming feeling of how wonderful they are.
Love is comfortable.
Love is searching the whole grocery store for something special for him just because.
Love isn't always selfless, but it makes it easier to be.
Love is not having to always be talking to each other.
Love definitely grows. And you don't always go around thinking about it, like when you're really infatuated with someone (or newly married!), but the other person becomes such an integral part of your life that you don't even realize how often you think about them. You become a "we" just as much as an "I."
But to be honest, I can't remember all the reasons I loved Adam when we were dating. They were enough to marry him, but my reasons have definitely changed and evolved and grown.
Adam says love is risking death to save your loved one from being frozen in carbonite. I agree.
I love this last comment! Wish I had wise words for you, but I'm still in that awkward, icky dating stage.