J-Squared: Life in this Crazy World

It's been a different Christmas this year for me. I've spent it with my soon-to-be in-laws who live in Henderson, NV. What a fun time it has been so far and we're not leaving until Saturday! I definitely missed my own family's traditions, but it's been great being with Bill's. I haven't taken a single picture while I've been here. Oops! I guess I'll have to get some from everyone else.

Anyway, the whole family managed to make it here, and we've just had such a fun time. The Ashmans believe no event is complete without copious amounts of food present, so let's just say I'm going to need to work out a whole lot in the next 19 days before mine and Bill's wedding. We've had a bunch of family parties with all the extended family that's around. Bill's grandpa's wife is Filipino, and one of her granddaughters graduated from college this year, so there was this HUGE party we attended for her at their house. So many Filipino people were there and they said the party lasted for 2 weeks. We only made it there for the last day, but it was so fun.

On Christmas Eve we went over to his aunt and uncle's house for the traditional Ashman family Pajama Party. Lots of food, lots of games, and lots of laughs abounded. Afterwards we headed back home to wrap every single present for Christmas. I'm used to my mom who has presents bought and wrapped sometimes in March, so this was quite the new experience for me. I have to admit I didn't help much with the wrapping, as I was feeling rather terrible from a cold that just won't seem to go away, but it was most entertaining to watch it happen. I'll help out the next time we're here. :)

Christmas morning was tons of fun. We opened lots of presents, includinga new sewing machine for me!!! My mother-in-law is amazing, that's all I have to say. Afterwards we ate a huge breakfast of crepes and then headed out to Valley of Fire to go hiking a little bit to work it off.

Bill's grandma just got home from her mission to Harrisburg, PA, so we headed down to Tempe, AZ the day after Christmas to welcome her home and help her move back into her place. It was fun to meet her and some more of Bill's family that lives down there. I discovered the craziest thing while I was down there. Bill's grandma lives probably 4 or 5 blocks away fromt he house my parents lived in the first few years of their marriage, before they moved to California. Bill and I took a walk over to see it while we were there. It was so cool. The didn't live in the same ward as his grandma, but just the next one over. What a crazy coincidence.

So now I'm back in Henderson and trying to get a bunch of things done before heading back to Utah in a few days. I'm going to make a white cape to wear at my wedding. It'll be the first project with my new sewing machine. Fun times! I really lucked out when it comes to inlaws. Mine are great. I'm glad I've gotten to spend Christmas with them. Next year we'll spend with my family, but after that we'll be back here again. Good times.

So I have a little secret. I kind of like forwards and tags and things like that. Shhh! Don't tell anyone. :) Even though I'd much rather get a real email from a friend, sometimes I find their forwards rather amusing. It seems that the blogging world is finding its own way to send some forwards around. I like this list that I've seen on several blogs, so I thought I'd add it to mine. I agree with my friend, some of these things are now getting added to my list of things to do in my life.


The things I have done are in RED. You, TOO, can copy and paste and do your very own list on your very own blog!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band (if a school one counts)
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie (friends only :) )
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
7 3. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
9 1. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

I think building a snow fort and paying for a stranger's meal in a restaurant are going to happen in the very near future. :)

My friend Alyssa posted this on her blog and I find it very entertaining. I put mine and Bill's name in it, and if I were him, he'd say mine is right and I say his is as well. Fun times! What does your name stand for?

J: makes people laugh
O: has one of the best personalities ever
L: easy to fall in love with
E: freakin beautiful eyes
N: can kick your butt
A: dead sexy

B: loves people
I: loves to laugh
L: easy to fall in love with
L: easy to fall in love with



A: Dead sexy
B: Loves people
C: Really easy to fall in love with
D: funny and sweet
E: Freakin Beautiful eyes
F: People wild and crazy adore you
G: Never let people tell you what to do
H: best smile
I : Loves to laugh
J: makes people laugh
K: Really silly
L: easy to fall in love w/
M: makes dating fun
N: Can kick your butt
O: Has one of the best personalities ever
P: Popular with all types of people
Q: A hypocrite
R: good bf/gf
S: Lives life for fun
T: loved by everybody
U: gets blamed for everything
V: Not judgmental
W: Very broad minded
X: Never let people tell you what to do
Z: Lives life for

I went to Chicago this week for a business trip for my company. We had a booth at a radiologist conference called RSNA, and I helped coordinate the event, so I went along to help it run smoothly. Well, more I went because we have another conference that's much bigger for us each year that is going to be in Chicago this Spring, and I'm in charge of it, so going to this one helped me get a better idea what I'll be doing with that one.

I've decided I really like Chicago! It reminds me of Moscow, where I spent a year teaching English. It was kind of a little mini-mission for me and I have similar feelings about the place and the people as all my friends that have served missions. Chicago is such a big place and has a very similar feel, minus everyone speaking Russian. There was a billboard for Russian vodka right outside my hotel, though, so I felt right at home. :)

I came down with a crazy cold the night we arrived that pretty much laid me out for the whole time I was there. It was really not helpful when I was trying to go out and get things done and was super sick and really tired, but I'm hoping I got what I needed out of the trip so that the next one I'm planning will go smoothly.

I still really enjoyed being there, despite the cold. It was fun to walk around Michigan Ave a little bit and go to some fun places to eat. I loved all the different cultures and accents that I saw and heard. I rode in a taxi for the first time in my life. We stayed in a pretty nice hotel. That was fun.

People were really nice everywhere I went. I love to travel and have always wanted to live all over the country and hopefully abroad as well. Since Bill is probably going into the Navy, it looks like I'm going to get my wish. Going to Chicago just reiterated that I like experiencing new places and people there. I've been in Utah for a long time and I'm definitely excited to try something new in the next few years.

Bill and I have been engaged for over a month, but it took this long to get the ring designed and created. He wanted to have the occasion he gave it to me be particularly memorable. We went to the Divine Comedy show last Friday and in the days running up to it, he and my roommates worked some serious magic to get it to work out so he could give it to me onstage. I've been asked whether I was surprised, and my answer would have to be...sort of. I knew he was going to give it to me sometime during the weekend, and I knew my roommates were helping him.


Thursday night as I was going to bed, it struck me that this might be what they were all excited about, as they were SERIOUSLY excited about their plans and leaving me completely in the dark. However, I didn't know how it was going to happen, what I would have to do, etc, so it was still really fun to anticipate. Here's the documented proof of it happening. We made sure to ham it up for the crowd so they thought this was the actual proposal. It was pretty sweet all around. I love the faces of the cast members in the background. The one guy hugging the other guy's legs is particularly entertaining. :)

So tonight was the night for the REAL proposal. :) I'd say it was the third. Or maybe fourth. He's really cute and just gets in the mood to propose again every once in awhile. :) I love it. This time he planned it out in detail, and it was awesome!

We went to the Divine Comedy show with my roommates. During the halftime part, they asked for a volunteer to help them with a sketch. Bill "volunteered" and then they got me to come up too. We were supposed to time them while they summarized all the reading people were supposed to do for their homework and we would have won a bunch of tickets if they went over a minute. Yeah, we lost, but then they asked Bill if he had anything to say, and he was like, "Why yes I do!" He dropped to one knee, pulled out the ring and proposed one last time. I think we got a bigger round of applause than Divine Comedy. It was great! It took some serious skills to get it all set up to do this, since they doesn't usually do those kinds of requests, but what can I say, Bill's got them. :) As you can see, the ring was worth the wait.

I came home from work last Friday not in the best of moods. It had been a long week and I was tired and somewhat cranky. Two things happened between parking my car and arriving home.

1. A friend of mine was standing at the curb waiting for something or other. She is on crutches and has been for the last 3 months due to a hiking accident where she took a spill and injured her knee. Since then she's been to every doctor imaginable and had several different treatments, with no real positive results. I have no idea how she deals with life, as she's a full-time student and close to graduation. Regardless of everything that has happened, she has a fantastic attitude. As I walked towards the stairs, she cheerily asked me how my day was and replied that hers was great. For some reason it struck me. I wasn't in a very good mood, and I really had no reason for it. I'm not having any major trials. In fact, my life is at a wonderful place just now. Why the bad mood? What I've decided is it's a habit I've formed of late to let little things bother me, get me down, and affect my mood negatively. As my friend's example showed me, that doesn't have to be how I react. Her simple cheery hello meant so much more to me than she ever could know. I'm grateful for friends like her.

2. Right after this little experience and following though process, I walked up the stairs to my apartment. My roommate greets me with the question of whether I'd seen what Bill had left on my door. She then said something to the effect that I had quite the amazing fiance and she thought he was just great. Quite curious, I walked back to my bedroom and found a note taped on my door. It said basically that he wanted to make sure I knew how much he loved me, so since we'd been dating for 260 days, he had written down 260 things he loves about me and hid them all over my apartment for me to find. Talk about amazing!!! I've since found probably 60 of them. I think he still has more to hide, and a few more to write, so I can't wait to keep finding them. What a guy! Talk about a turnaround in how I felt as I stepped out of my car last Friday. I'm definitely feeling the love. What a great life I have! And an amazing fiance!!

This is shaping up to be a great week for completing wedding plans. I should have my Colorado and Utah reception locations finalized this week. I'm picking up my dress from the lady that did my alterations this afternoon. My ring is supposed to be done tomorrow, finally. We've gotten a significant number of our addresses found, made into labels, and put on envelopes. We got our engagement pictures on Saturday, so we should get the photos back this week and be able to work on finishing our announcements. It feels nice to be completing things.

I've wanted black dress boots for like 5 years and have never found a pair I liked enough to buy. Yesterday I decided now was the time and I was finally going to buy a pair. This is what I ended up with and I love them!


On an unrelated note, I got a smashing deal on my wedding dress a couple months ago and was so excited about it. I just got back from the place that's doing my alterations and that great deal just flew out the window with the updated quote I received. Although the dress looked simple enough to alter when I bought it, such has not proven to be the case. It's a good thing it's going to look perfect because I'm definitely paying for it!

I've decided I hate the part of wedding planning where you have to fit everything you need to buy into the budget you have. It'll be fine once it's all done and I have everything paid for and ready, but it stresses me out in the process!

Bill's little sister Miriam is quite the budding photographer. She's going to take pictures at our wedding receptions and I'm quite excited about it. She took a few pictures of us this weekend and it was fun. Here's a few of her shots of us:

We're meant to be together. Just look at the shoes. :)












This is the backyard at Bill's parent's house. We're having our open house out there even though our wedding is in January. Isn't Las Vegas amazing?!



















We were being cute talking to each other instead of posing. Sick, I know. lol


So you can play Freecell on a normal computer, but what would be the point after this 22" beauty?!






Eventually we stopped goofing off and took a good picture. Yay for wearing cute dressy clothes and taking pictures!




Bill had this string hanging out of his collar that for some reason he thought he'd actually be able to see if he looked down enough. It was quite amusing...

I got two very fun things this weekend:

1. My wedding shoes
2. A new purse, courtesy of my soon-to-be father-in-law.

I'm so excited about both of them!!!

Have I mentioned that I love my almost in-laws? Yeah, I do. They are so fun and so caring and just wonderful in every way shape and form. I'm feeling particularly blessed to marry into the Ashman family. They really are great people and I am excited about the future. It's going to be great!

So like I said in my last post, Bill's dad is a dentist and when we went down to Las Vegas this weekend, he fixed my tooth that never grew in all the way in my front four teeth. I have all of one picture that's sort of close enough to see the difference if you know what you're looking for. It looks pretty sweet in person even if you can't see it here. I'm happy about it. :)

And yes, apparently we have issues keeping our eyes open.

So Bill and I and his sister Hillary are heading down to Las Vegas for the weekend. I'm very excited about it! They're from Henderson, so we're headed down so they can vote, and then just to play for a couple days. It'll be nice. I haven't had the chance up to this point to go home with him, so it should be lots of fun.

When I was a little kid I walked in front of a wooden porch swing full of kids and got my teeth smashed in. Remarkably, there's very little visible damage, except that one of my front 4 teeth never grew in all the way. It's always kind of bugged me, and I've wanted to get a cap on it for years. Well, Bill's dad just happens to be a dentist and is going to do it for me while we're there this weekend. What a great guy! And it was all Bill's idea, so what a great guy he is too!

So I'm just really happy to get away for a weekend. My job is really generous with the vacation time, but this year I took a week-long trip in both January and April (which were both amazing trips, mind you), so since then I've been really tight on vacation days since I had to plan for Christmas time off. Let me tell you, I am ready for a break! I'm really starting to believe what people have always said, that if you take a break from your work every once in awhile, you will be a much more productive and happy individual. Generally speaking, I'm outdoors hiking or climbing or doing any number of interesting activities on a regular basis. This Summer/Fall hasn't worked out quite like that and I'm really feeling it. What with some definite trials and hiccups along the way this last 6 months, it's been hard to put forth the effort it takes to be outdoors and doing fun things. It's really hit me how important this is for my own happiness and sanity, and consequently for Bill's as well, since he's much the same as me in this regard or at least has to deal with me if he's not. :) I feel like I'm struggling to find enjoyment in life, from big or little things. It's definitely been frustrating, and I'm trying to get out of the slump and get back to where I love life and all the parts of it. Anyone have any advice on how to find enjoyment in life, particularly when it's hard? I'd love to hear it, as I'm working through all this.

Needless to say, a weekend in Vegas is very welcome. :) I'm so excited!

My wedding ring is currently in process of being made. Well, almost. It'll start being made this week hopefully. In the meantime, I have a $5 band from Kohl's that happens to be rather pretty. I was at the grocery store today and the cashier complemented me on how beautiful my ring is. I thanked her for the complement and just smiled to myself. I guess we don't need to get expensive, gorgeous ring anymore, Bill. Apparently Kohl's has it won with their $5 special. :)

We're engaged! We went hiking tonight and ended up on the top of a peak overlooking Provo and watched the sunset. It was beautiful! The hike was made even better when Bill got down on one knee and proposed. Yay for getting married! We've been making plans for a few weeks, but now it's all official. January 17th is the date in the Salt Lake Temple. We're super excited.

The ring is in process still. I'll definitely post pictures when he gives it to me. I did get my wedding dress today. I'm so excited about that! I'd post pictures, but then Bill would see it, and that's just not going to work. :) I guess you'll just have to come to our reception to see it. Fun times!

We were just curious about how this would work. I think there's potential.

http://www.vw.com/vwhype/babymaker/en/us/?mId=28371650

Votes, anyone?

My cute coworker posted a great quote on her blog that I really liked and it got me to thinking about other quotes that have made a difference to me and make me think. For years I've had a habit of collecting quotes that I like and looking through them every now and again when I need a boost or just want to laugh or feel good or something like that. I find it doesn't matter who says them, they can be good regardless of the source. Here's a few that I've found lately that have made a difference to me:

"If you always look for a reason not to be with someone, then you will always find a reason. Sometimes you just have to let your heart go and that's where you'll find true love."
--Luke, One Tree Hill

"The happiest people seem to be those who have no particular reason for being so except that they are so."
--William Ralph Inge

"I promise you that you can experience the fulfillment of your desire for eternal love, if you really want it, so long as you don't want anything else more. I pray that you will do the work required to fulfill your family dream. The longing of the heart for this fullness is a central vision of the gospel. It is also a source of great power, especially on those cloudy days, or years, when your dreams seem impossible. Even when love wounds you, that's because love matters so much. The deep hurt is the mirror image of the deep joy that still awaits you. Your longing to belong forever to a loving family comes from God, and He has promised its fulfillment, if you are faithful: "For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness" (Ps. 107:9). I know His promise is sure."
--Bruce C. Hafen

"He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool. He who takes offense wen offense IS intended is an even bigger fool."
--Brigham Young

"Dancing is just a conversation between 2 people...talk to me."
--Hope Floats

"No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won't make it worse."
--Elder Holland's maxim for life

"Ever morning in Africa a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn't matter if you're a lion or gazelle--when the sun comes up you had better be running."

My little but not so baby sister tagged me today. This is the one where you post the 4th picture in the 4th album in your pictures and tell the story.

So this is my best friend Kirsten and her husband Ryan. Though it's a little hard to tell, she's like 7 months pregnant in this picture. Apparently she's still pretty feisty despite the little one inside. :)


















I tag Becca, Alyssa, and Merry. Have fun!

I took the GRE on Saturday. I'm so glad to be finished! The test went fantastically well. I got a better score on both parts than I've gotten on any of my practice tests, so I'm so excited! I've been looking to take this test for probably 18 months. It had gotten to the point that I never thought I was actually going to get it done, so to finally be able to check it off my list is pretty much the most amazing feeling ever. :) Now it's time to actually start my grad school applications. Woohoo! I seriously thought I'd be in grad school the year after I finished my undergrad. Yeah, that was 2 1/2 years ago. Now's a much better time, that's for sure. I'm so jazzed about it all!

I have been an ordinance worker at the Provo Temple since last May, but I took the last 3 months off to study for the GRE and generally just deal with life better. Today was my first day back and it was so amazing! I felt the Spirit so strongly as it re-witnessed to me the truthfulness of the gospel and the power and joy that comes from the temple covenants. It was wonderful! It has been quite a trying last 3-6 months for me, so this is a truly a joy to be back on top of things, feeling the Spirit and loving life and this world and the gospel. Yay!!!

I'm taking the GRE on Saturday afternoon. Wish me luck! I've been studying my heart out of late, but it really comes down to what test I actually get when I take it this Saturday. Some of my practice tests I've done really well on and others just haven't turned out so nicely. I have far too many other things to do in the next few months to take it again, not to mention the exorbitant fee for the test, so I REALLY want to only take it once.

This test has been probably a year and a half in the coming. I remember when I first graduated from BYU, I had dreams to work for a year and be back in grad school the next Fall. 2 1/2 years later I'm just now taking the GRE and will apply for my program after that. It's funny how life takes different twists and turns than we expect. I am in a much better position to be going back to school next Fall if this all falls into like I hope than I would have been if I had gone last year or even this year. I have a better idea what I want to do, or at least a lot of experience in things I don't care for too much, so I know what to steer clear of. :) Potentially I might even be able to pay for it now, although that's still a big if.

All I can say now is, bring on the test! I'm as ready as I'm going to be, so let's have at it! If it goes as I'm hoping, then that will be one HUGE check mark off my ever-growing list of very important things to do in the next few months. Yay!!!

I have so many things going on in my life at the moment. I think I'm juggling at least 5 different huge things in my life at the moment that have big looming deadlines in the next 3 months or so. Bill and I were scheduling some things we want to get done in the next couple weeks and it completely blew me away how much of our time is already booked for weeks in advance. I have a very strong desire to cut work out of my life so I can get everything else done. Anyone have any ideas how I can continue to finance my life if I do that? :) I told him I was feeling very overwhelmed last night with all the things that need to be done in the next few months, and his comment was, "Well, what can we do to get you just to feel whelmed?" I thought it was hilarious! Sorry, honey, I don't think it's going to happen, but I'm glad you're thinking of me!

This has been an interesting and rather difficult summer for me for lots of different reasons. What with everything that's gone on, I haven't gotten out to hike or rock climb or do many of the fun things that I like to do in the summertime. Things have really started to turn for the better, but I've been a little sad that I missed a great season for outdoor adventures. I needn't have worried though. The Fall is definitely looking to be fantastic, and this weekend was a prime example. Bill and I went with the BYU Outdoor Adventure Club down to Maple Canyon (near Nephi, UT) camping on Friday night and rock climbing Saturday. It was tons of fun, and so beautiful! We had a fantastic time and I'm so glad we went. Friday night we got to hang out with my friend Alyssa and catch up and chat about all the craziness that's gone on in all of our lives in the last few months. It's so great to have good friends. I'm glad we worked together for awhile so that we could get to be friends. Saturday was filled with climbing, a little bit of hiking, and generally just having a great time.


Sunday my family got together for my mom's birthday celebration. It's always fun to spend time with my family and it was especially fun to have some of my aunts and uncles and cousins there. My dad pulled out a potato gun that he just built, and we had a fantastic time shooting those super soaker squishy balls out of it. My parents have a park right behind their house that we went out to and had a great time shooting the balls for my nieces nephews and cousins to catch. The houses were too close by to shoot actual potatoes, but we had tons of fun with what we used. I wish I had pictures to post, but I'll have to wait to get them from my sister. What a great weekend!

While I was at BYU I took a bunch of ballroom dance classes. I loved them! I don't know what it is about dancing, but I just love it. Since I've graduated I haven't danced very much, but every once in awhile I get the chance to go dancing and it is always so much fun. Way back at the beginning of the year I went on a couple dates with this guy who was the best partner I've ever danced with. I've danced with guys that have better skills than him, but he and I just danced better together than I ever have with anyone else and it was like magic was happening every time we stepped out on the dance floor. I was pretty sure it was love at first dance. It was fantastic for the 2 dancing dates it lasted. lol. The experience got the dancing itch started again for me.

Well, my cute boyfriend was ever so accommodating to take a social dance class at BYU this semester. I've had my fingers crossed for months hoping that he'd get addicted like I did and want to keep dancing, particularly with me. Last night was the first time we've really danced together since our first date in February, and it was amazing! He has a foxtrot test next week, so I was helping him practice, and it was so much fun for the few minutes we got to dance. I don't know if he's as addicted as I am, but I definitely think the potential is there. :) Yay for dancing with the love of my life!

I've had more opportunity to ponder this question of late than ever before in my life. I don't think I ever realized I didn't actually know the answer until lately. So this one's up for people to answer. What is your definition of love in a dating relationship?

You may be wondering why I ask. Mostly I'm wondering what love is like in a long-term relationship, marriage particularly. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 7 months, and I'm kind of past the butterflies-in-my-stomach-when-I-see-him part. I'm pretty independent, so I enjoy when we're together, but I'm not heartbroken when we're apart. I can potentially see a great future together, but yet I'm currently stuck in a major career rut and it's hard to imagine it's going to change anytime soon. I feel very stuck in the situation I'm in currently, and it clouds the relationship a little bit. I guess I just want to know what makes a long term relationship work and what it feels like to really be in love. What I thought it was before seems more like infatuation to me now and where I'm at is new territory for me. Any comments from anyone?

Blogger is dumb and only lets me post 5 pictures at a time, so here's my other 5 things:

5. Working at Philmont Scout Ranch as a COPE Instructor

6. Playing Program Director a Camp Kern BSA camp in California
7. Winning my age division at the Top of Utah Marathon

8. Graduating from BYU, twice :)

9. Running the Boston Marathon

My friend Alyssa posted on her blog the 10 Happiest Moments of Her Life. I really like the idea, but want to modify it a little, to 10 Amazing Memories in my life. I don't know that I could pick the happiest moments in my life. I have been blessed in far too many ways to pick just 10, however, I have had some great experiences, and they're fun to remember. I'm excited for all the years ahead to create 10 or 100 or 1000 more. Good memories really do make life more fulfilling. Here's some that I can think of:

1. Summers in Washington at The Homeplace (my grandparent's house)
2. Playing tennis and volleyball in high school

3. My best friend Kirsten4. Teaching English in Russia for 2 semesters

I haven't spent much time on this blog talking about my boyfriend, Bill, except a brief mention here and there. It's high time he gets a little face time, particularly because as of last Friday we've been dating for 6 months. I'm not that big a fan of calling it an anniversary, I just think that's weird when you're not married, but it was a happy day, and I'm happy that he's in my life. He's quite an amazing guy and I feel blessed that he's in my life.

So for those of you that don't know, Bill and I got set up on a blind date back in February when my ward was doing a dinner/dance where all the guys asked all the girls out, based on getting matched up in this random computer program. One problem: we didn't have enough guys, so we (me as the activities co-chair and the Elders Quorum activity guys) went recruiting. Bill was in the other ward in my complex and one of the guys recruited him. We decided we were fated to meet each other because he definitely wouldn't have said yes to a random blind date like that from a guy he didn't know normally. On my side, I was really frustrated and angry about the whole thing because I wasn't having the best dating experiences at the time and it didn't help to feel like the odd man out that the computer program didn't match with anyone. I didn't really want to go, but with being semi in-charge of it, I tried to be a good sport. I did make my opinion and feelings abundantly well-known to our EQ President. That part is amusing because the leadership in my ward has kept close tabs on our developing relationship ever since. They are never going to let us live it down that we got together after my bad attitude. :)

So back to the date. I didn't have a problem with going with Bill, I was just frustrated with the process. Secretly, I was actually excited about the chance, but was too annoyed to admit it. Talk about pride...Anyway, it seems to have worked out okay, as we had a fantastic time together and that started the ball rolling on an amazing relationship.

I had a conversation with one of my friends at work yesterday about our jobs and what we really would like to be doing professionally and it really made me think about where I'm going in my life. She's a commercial interior designer but is working as an administrative assistant currently because the housing industry is so volatile and she and her husband need at least one stable job between the two of them. I am the office manager of a little company, which means I do everything from event planning to HR to IT stuff to project management to whatever else needs to be done. I'm closing in on 2 years working here. Somehow it's not where I expected to be right now. I got my degree in Recreation Management and Youth Leadership, which I thought would put me on track to be running a recreational company at some point. It doesn't really seem like I'm getting there. I spend 8-9 hours a day in an office setting, mostly at my computer. It's quite the struggle for my somewhat ADD personality. I just don't know that I'm best suited for a desk job. Of late I've found myself daydreaming all too often of what it would be like to do something i actually enjoyed. What would it be like to want to go to work every day? Now, if I only had a clearer idea of something I would actually enjoy, that would help! I really liked my job for the first year, but this second one has been slowly killing me off. It seems such a waste to spend so many hours doing something just because it brings in a paycheck. By the time I get home, it seems like so little time is left to do things I actually enjoy.

So here are some of the things I've contemplated doing to change this situation I've found myself in. If any of you that actually read my blog want to comment on which path you think I would most enjoy, or have any ideas that I haven't thought of, please let me know!

1. I could go back to school for an MPA. This would give me more business experience, but potentially put me back in an office situation. Not that I hate that, but I definitely want the subject matter of my job to be more interesting to me than the current medical IT research subject of my current job is.
2. Do the Family Recreation masters offered at BYU with the intent to teach, probably at the JC level and maybe later do a PhD and teach at a university.
   
3. Get a job at this very cool company I know, called Aspiro (http://www.wherehealingstarts.com). I would be a wilderness guide and be out guiding groups for 8 days and then of for 6. It's quite the crazy lifestyle, but potentially I could work into the management levels because of my other job experience and maybe the schedule would change. I really like this idea, but I can't seem to reconcile how that would have any positive affect on my dating relationship and that's really important to me. Yet, it'd be so much fun!
   
4. I could stay at my current job and just ride the storm and hope it gets better over time. Maybe the roller coaster interest level in it is normal. I make decent money and like the people I work with, so it's not all bad by any stretch of the imagination.
5. I could look for a whole new job in...well, that's the big question, in what? I'm roped to Utah County at the moment and that doesn't give me a huge list of options. Any ideas of good places to job hunt? I'm not having so much luck in the places I've looked.

Aaahh, sweet, sweet victory! Last night's game was AWESOME!! Everyone on my team played really well and we just had the best time. I hit a triple and a few single base hits. We had a bunch of home runs from the guys and solid base hits from all the girls as well. Pretty much we just went out there and played our best game and just dominated. We ended the game half an inning early because we were ahead. It was great!


A couple entertaining highlights:

1. I was playing 2nd base and a girl hit her pitch high and infield. Our defensive pitcher and I both ran to get it. It didn't come quite as far as I expected, so I caught it, but with my glove about a foot from the ground and on the run. I was looking at the pitcher when I caught it, more worried about colliding with him than about the ball, so I was almost surprised when it hit my glove. Thank goodness for confidence in my ability to catch!
2. Every game several of our guys hit home runs with the bases loaded. They go blazing around the bases, way faster than those already on base. We usually bat guy/girl back-to-back, so what always happens is the guy that hit the home run is chasing down the girl ahead of him coming from 3rd to Home. I don't know why I find it so amusing, but it's just hilarious to see my girl teammates running more to get out of the guy's way than to actually get to home. It's awesome!
3. My teammate Mike is probably our biggest hitter. If he makes good contact, that ball is gone. The poor other team has no chance. In the 4th inning, Mike came up to bat and swung as usual at the pitch. He made contact, but not what he expected. The ball slammed into the dirt right in front of home plate and stuck. He was as surpised as the catcher, who had to scramble to get the ball out of the dirt as Mike sprinted to make it to 1st base. So funny!
4. I was playing 2nd base again in the 5th inning. A guy hit a smoking grounder right at me. I reached down to get it, with all expectations of easily picking it up and throwing him out at 1st. To my shock, I missed it by about half an inch. I think I didn't get my glove all the way to the ground and it slipped right under it. The thing that made the play funny was when my boyfriend Bill started laughing at me from the sideline where he was watching. I guess the look of shock on my face was so pronounced he could see it from halfway across the field and it cracked him up. Not my most shining moment, but so very funny!

I'm a little competitive. Okay, I'm a lot competitive. What can I say? I find immense satisfaction in coming out on top of the pile. I can't explain it, but it just does something for me that is incredible. I've lived in Provo for 7 years. That's right, 7 years!! Give it a few more and I'll have lived longer in Utah than anywhere else. Scary! Now, in that 7 years I've competed in a lot of intramural sports. Tennis, racquetball, innertube water polo, flag football, ultimate frisbee, and now softball. Not once in all those 7 years have I come close to an Intramural Champions T-shirt. That is, until now. Tomorrow night is the night. It's time to end this streak. And of all sports to be ending it in, softball is it. My team is undefeated in the tournament as of last night. If we win tomorrow night, the t-shirts are ours. I'm so excited!

Now, I've had some success in other sports, particularly running. I've amassed a few trophies and awards in the last few years in that sport. It's quite the rush to cross the finish line and find out that I've come in at the top of my age division. I'm a fan of my 1st place trophy from the Top of Utah Marathon in 2007. Who wouldn't like a black moose mounted on a slab of wood, if nothing else than the absurdity of it? My medal from running the Boston Marathon in April has a prominent spot in my little collection of awards. There's just something about finishing a marathon and feeling how my body is completely spent, how I've used up every reserve and every bit of energy and will I have to give that is incredible. Yet, it's an individual sport. It's a game within my own head. I use the other runners to help me push myself harder, but it's mostly mental.

Rising to success in a team sport has a completely different feel. When I graduated from high school, I couldn't wait to leave it all behind and get on to bigger and better things. That is, I wanted to leave everything behind save one thing: tennis. I LOVED playing tennis and particularly my tennis team. I still love to play, but now it's an individual sport. Back in high school I got to play with 10 other players and we were all pulling for the same goal. My win could only give one point towards our overall victory, so I did the best I could, but then went to cheer my teammates so hopefully we all came out on top together. And it was possible for me to lose my match, but our team still to win. It wasn't ideal, but at least it lessened the pain of losing.

So to come full circle from where I began this post, I'm playing on a coed softball team again, which I absolutely love! It's taken me back to the days of playing volleyball and tennis in high school, and I love getting the chance to feel the togetherness and challenge and fun of everyone working together to reach a goal. We're playing our championship game tomorrow night, and if we all pull our weight together, we are going to win and it's going to be amazing!

If all goes well, one of these is going to be in my possession:

Woohoo!!!

I like to think I'm pretty good at most sports. I run, play tennis, volleyball, racquetball, rock climb, play ultimate and touch football whenever I can find people to play with, and the list goes on. Basketball isn't really my thing, being that my face is at most other people's elbow level, but you can't have everything, right? Oh, and I'm a little timid when it comes to soccer, as I find it nerve-wracking to put my body in the way of others kicking as hard as they can, but since my boyfriend Bill thinks it's pretty much the greatest sport ever invented, I have a feeling I'll get over that eventually. :)

Somewhere in all the years that I learned to play these sports, I missed one that I've found to be tons of fun this summer: softball! Particularly co-ed softball. I played on a girl's team in May and June and now I'm on a co-ed team with my roommates and some people in my ward now. We won our second tournament game last night and I can't tell you how much fun it is to play, particularly with a bunch of guys that are REALLY good. That just makes it all the better! When I picked up a bat at my game in June, it felt like a foreign object. Now it's turned into a piece of equipment that I find far too much pleasure in swinging. :) It is so satisfying to get up to the plate with bases loaded and actually be able to hit into the outfield so that some of my teammates can get home.




Next week is the first game with my work co-ed softball team. It'll be interesting to see how playing city league is different than BYU Intramurals. Oh, and maybe, just maybe, I have a shot for the first time to actually earn a BYU Intramural Champions shirt. That would be so awesome!!!

A couple months back I entered the blogging world and discovered just how fun it is to keep up on all my friends' and family's lives. It's addicting, truly it is. Last week my best friend finally got me to promise I'd create my own. Thanks Kirst, I needed the push. It's about time I start contributing to the blogging world. :)

So those that know me know I love the outdoors and basically every sport and activity it offers. Winter, summer, it matters little, I can always find something fun and adventurous to do. For some reason this summer, I haven't had as many opportunities to be outdoors. Well, I guess that really depends on your perspective. I consider going out twice a month not very often. Others might consider that overload. :) That being said, I finally got out backpacking last weekend with Bill and a friend David from Salt Lake. It was awesome! We headed out Friday night and backpacked up to Red Pine Lake in Little Cottonwood Canyon. Minus the mosquitoes it's an amazing place to camp! I got eaten alive the last time we went camping and Bill didn't, so I borrowed his one-man tent and he slept out. Bad idea! Poor guy, he got like 25 mosquito bites. I thought my 10 or 12 were bad...

Anyway, Saturday morning we woke up early and hiked one of the mountains surrounding the lake, called White Baldy. It was incredible! Practically the whole mountain was a pile of boulders as you can see, so we boulder-hopped the whole way to the top. We chased a mountain goat up as we were climbing. It was super fun going up, but terrible coming down, so on the way down we took advantage of a bunch of snow left on the slopes and glissaded down them (basically we slid down on our bums with ice axes in our hands to self-arrest in case we lost control). What an awesome trip! To top it all off, Bill and I got back to Provo in time to make a late lunch with his family at PF Changs. You've got to love living so close to the mountains that you can do both of those things in the same day!